A Turkey Poem

When I was a young turkey,

new to the coop,

My big brother Mike

took me out on the stoop,

Then he sat me down,

and he spoke real slow,

And he told me there was something

that I had to know;

His look and his tone

I will always remember,

When he told me of the

horrors of..... Black November.

"Come about August,

now listen to me,

Each day you'll get six meals

instead of just three,

"And soon you'll be thick,

where once you were thin,

And you'll grow a big rubbery

thing

under your chin;

"And then one morning,

when you're warm in your bed,

In'll burst the farmer's wife,

and hack off your head;

"Then she'll pluck out all your

feathers

so you're bald 'n pink,

And scoop out all your insides

and leave ya lyin' in the sink;

"And then comes the worst part"

he said not bluffing,

"She'll spread your cheeks

and pack your rear with stuffing."

Well, the rest of his words

were too grim to repeat,

I sat on the stoop

like a winged piece of meat,

And decided on the spot

that to avoid being cooked,

I'd have to lay low

and remain overlooked;

I began a new diet

of nuts and granola,

High-roughage salads,

juice and diet cola;

And as they ate pastries,

chocolates and crepes,

I stayed in my room

doing Jane Fonda tapes;

I maintained my weight

of two pounds and a half,

And tried not to notice

when the bigger birds laughed;

But 'twas I who was laughing,

under my breath,

As they chomped and they

chewed,

ever closer to death;

And sure enough

when Black November rolled

around,

I was the last turkey

left in the entire compound.

So now I'm a pet

in the farmer's wife's lap;

I haven't a worry,

so I eat and I nap;

She held me today,

while sewing and humming,

And smiled at me and said:

"Christmas is coming..

HAPPY THANKSGIVING Y'ALL!

Author Unknown